Bad Woman #5 L
Reunion L
All Your Wendys L
Czarina L
A Gentleman's Game (Good Breeding) L
King of Karaoke L
Gus Gus Gus
Please Come Home

I Remember Travis

After Yesterday's Crash

SECOND STORY

BAD WOMAN #5 Better men than you have met their deaths in a similar high desert speed trap. But the smell of the sage on her breath might ignite an elaborate mishap. The gift wrapping paper gives off toxic vapors. You fly like the bee to the hive; you get points just for staying alive. She slithers her way down the stairs in various stages of undress, and you cringe at each limb that she bares 'cause you've seen the price tag on her dress. A desirable scene with not much in between but the blanket, the backrub, the drive; you get points just for staying alive. She has to get this off her chest: she says, "Babe, you know you might bore me. It's the funniest thing, in the West-you never see a second story." She keeps her mirages inside the garage with the oilcan, the car and the knives. You get points just for staying alive. You've sung in her foreign cantinas. The kids like "Hotel California". She says, "I think nobody's seen us. You can stay all the way to the morning." It's a sexist cliché that you'll die if you stay, but you've already got two ex-wives. You get points just for staying alive. You get in your boat and you drive; you get points just for staying alive.

REUNION I was ten years out of high school with nothing much to show. I had lost a leg to gangrene and screwed up get-rich-quick schemes, so I dusted off my daydreams. I was in a drunken stupor, putting the Zimas down at the Chuck E. Cheese in Boulder, when a hand fell on my shoulder. It was familiar--but older. I said, "Heitz, put down the bottle and I'll pick up the check." "Josh, the drink's got the best of me, and you're in the crapper next to me." So we talked about our destiny. "Brent's playing weddings in Newtown." "Dave had his second divorce." "You've got some cheese on your sweater; I can't say I've done much better- "So let's get the band back together." We found Dave on his farm in Nebraska. The only thing he'd grown was his hair. It was weeks since he had showered. He spoke for over an hour; we're not really sure what he said. So we all three drove to Friendly's; Brent made us really good cheese fries. He said, "Wow! How did you find me? I thought I'd put you guys behind me, and I really wish you wouldn't remind me." So we hit him with a skillet and threw him in the back of the van. We tickled his nose with a feather and threatened to get out the shredder 'til he said, "let's get the band back together It's never too late to make an ass of yourself. You live in the moment; the music is soaring. We practiced in the spare room of the Quaker Meeting House. Neighbors complained; SWAT teams flew in. All you rock'n'rollers should tune in to the Pennsbury ten-year reunion. Everybody here's got a name tag. No one really likes the punch. We watch the crowd start to wake up. (The stage lights are melting Brent's makeup.) I haven't felt this good since the breakup Augie Chung is moved to breakdance! That guy from gym class takes off his shirt. Don't think of the time that we wasted. Just think of the glory we tasted since we got the band back together. It's never too late to make an ass of yourself. Young man, young man, put your pride on the shelf! You live in the moment. The music is soaring. Whatever you break you better clean up in the morning.

ALL YOUR WENDYS When we last had left off, had you lit out for the West, dreaming of unconquered nations? With a wilted memory and a willing girl we might call 'Wendy' we pick up our history: illiterate, born of frustration. Time regained, how time flies! Don't leave home without your alibi. Deliver me before I die to the daughters of unconquered nations. Now turnpikes turn to nightmares, and all roads lead to homes, and Wendys become women where you roam. And all the world's your holster, but keep your weapon cool. Wendys half-forgotten still know you. Hymnals open! Page fifteen. Sing to me that things are what they seem. Turnpikes wake you from your dreams; gardens lie under your roadways. Though you'll never shed one tear for this opposite of a frontier, set aside that which appears in your dust-covered trophies of glory days. Though turnpikes turn to nightmares, all roads lead to homes, and Wendys become women on their own. And all the world's your holster, but keep your weapon cool. Wendys half-forgotten still know you. The same hand holds you as the hand that lets you go....

CZARINA Goodnight czarina, here's your last kiss. I'll tuck you between the sheets and wake you at six. At midnight you'll dream of me, but I'll be adrift in a world of you. Wrap me in saffron, roll me in spice. Pour me a laugh on bitters, on ice. Marry me in a field, but no one throw rice: throw something to grow. You can't lie to me. You blush when you try. How you cry to me, and I never cry. So drink up your highness, there's no end in sight. The wine will remind us to forget the night. You look your finest, so find me in spite of the long, long day. Luck be a lady, March be a lamb. Meet me in Paris and screen me at Cannes. Fall in your well with or without my hand: I'll try to fall too. You don't sing to me; you're much, much too shy. You can't lie to me. I don't believe you'd try. Goodnight, Contessa, whisper your last. As you get your rest, I'll sweep your glass. I'll dust off your dresser and weep for your past, and I'll sleep soon. Honey, I'll come to bed soon. I'll sleep soon.

A GENTLEMAN'S GAME (GOOD BREEDING) I will be a married man in hours, and I will be a rich man in but a few years. All my dreams are coming-both my dreams are coming true. She is blonde and like an angel, and she talks in ways my mother never heard talk before. We don't know what we'll do with her, but mama always has advice. Maybe she could be doing better; still, I just hope she doesn't complain. I'll never know who might be better at keeping alive the family name (keeping alive the family name). She said some funny things in April, and, I admit, I hit her one time in response. Now June is here and she is right here by my side. The boys will grow up men of substance; men of awesome courage, strength, and who can hold their liquor. The girls will grow up too. I guess she'll show them what to do. Maybe it's she who is the stronger; still, it's always a gentleman's game. She asked, "please, last a little longer while we're keeping alive the family name." (Keeping alive the family name.)

KING OF KARAOKE I have no words to say the things I want to say to you, but the audience is restless, and the video is blue. And I'm up here ready to go with a song I think you know; and if you'll just believe in me, I think I'm gonna be the King of Karaoke. The next one comes from England. It hit the top of the charts. I think it really captures that thing in all of our hearts. And I haven't got a plan, just this nightlife from Japan. And if you'll just believe in me, then I think I'm gonna be the King of Karaoke. You'll never know how much I want to write the song that goes straight to your little heart, but somebody's been there before me. And at the end of every day, with all my dreams in disarray, it's still enough to know that you still adore me. I don't want to work. I just want to sing karaoke. I don't want to be nothing but your karaoke kid.